Thanksgiving, 2008

Because of my foolish flight to New Zealand with my two children in 2006 and my use of prescription medications, I lost (almost) everything.

As a cancer survivor with nerve damage from chemotherapy, I thought I was entitled to medication to make me numb to pain (I took pain medicine, anti-anxiety medicine, sleep aids, mood stabilizer, etc.). But there are worse pains than physical, and the body can adjust to amazing things without medication.

In August of 2007, I lost my car in an accident where I fell asleep at the wheel and rolled off the mountain at night. I lost the beauty of my right hand that needed 60 stitches, and the normal use of my back (which hurts all the time). I got a DUI, had to go to court, have my driving license suspended, pay huge fines, take a DUI class for 4 months, and be on probation for 3 years.

I also lost my lovely mountain home in the divorce battle with my ex-husband (he had a lawyer, and I did not). I lost all my family heirlooms and presents given to me by my children. I had packed my own treasures and sent them to New Zealand where I stupidly fled with my two youngest children, Jessica (now 16) and Jonathan (now 13). I could not afford to bring the stuff back to America when the children and I were forced to return, so it was all thrown in the trash.

Worst of all, I lost custody of Jessica and Jonathan (I pathetically tried to represent myself in court a year ago while still on medication). I have not seen Jessica or Jonathan or had any contact with them in a year and a half, though they live on the same mountain. This loss feels as though it could kill me . . .

The good news is that I got married again to a caring, sweet musician from Mexico, named Miguel. He helped me get off ALL medication last May. So for 6 months I have been completely sober--better able to realize my past mistakes, regrets, and loss . . . but free from drug control.

And my two oldest children, Kristen (twenty-something) and Ryan (17 months younger) keep in contact with me and are doing well. Kristen is a great mother of two, Joshua (4) and Abigail (going on 2). Ryan just got promoted to Sergeant in the U.S. Army and is finishing up his tour of Iraq (thank God he is safe). His son Jake is 8 months old and just started crawling.

I don't get out much anymore and try to serve the Lord in small ways as I live in a mountain cottage with Miguel and finish my DUI class by Christmas. Though I lost so much because of my stupid choices, I did not lose God's forgiveness and love for me that He showed by sending His only Son to become a man, die for our sins, and rise again to bring us the hope of new life.

As Thanksgiving 2008 approaches, I thank God for His forgiveness and for simple joy. And I pray I will see Jessica and Jonathan again.

So learn from my mistakes and stay away from all drugs, including alcohol. They will only destroy your life and make you lose everything too.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving.

Lonna

P.S. When He first began His ministry, Jesus read and fulfilled these words written by Isaiah the prophet 700 years before Jesus was born to this earth:

"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me, because the Lord has anointed Me to preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn, to console those who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified." Isaiah 61:1-3